The first time I had pasta puttanesca I was waitressing at a restaurant in Park Slope. A fellow waitress told me that it was the pasta that Italian whores ate. She was always saying things like, “I spilled ketchup all over my tits,” and pronouncing “mimosa” in a really suggestive way. I just figured she was telling me that so she could say the word “whore” while slurping down linguine, but it is actually true, pasta putanesca is the pasta of whores. And I can see why.
If you’re anything like me you always have a gigantic thing of capers and olives in your fridge (not to mention great bone structure and an impressive unicorn collection.) Puttanesca is a really quick way to put together a complex tasting – passionate even – dish with pantry staples. Succulent, salty and a little spicy, the ingredients and method are simple enough that you can prep it, cook it and clean up after yourself in a leisurely 30 minutes, and then get back to the matter at hand, whether that be sex with strangers for money or updating your blog.
I’m always on the look out for ways to incorporate quinoa and other grains into my lunches, so it’s pretty brainless to just make a traditional pasta sauce and toss it on a grain instead. I like to make a big batch of quinoa at the beginning of the week and store it for a few days. If you don’t have a few cups of cooked quinoa around then see directions below* and start your quinoa before starting your sauce.
Quinoa Puttanesca – The Quinoa of Whores
Serves 4
2 to 3 cups cooked quinoa
For the sauce:
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
generous pinch each tarragon and marjoram
1/4 cup white wine
1/2 cup kalamata olives, roughly chopped (sliced in half is great)
1/2 cup capers
20 ounce can crushed tomatoes
fresh black pepper
Preheat a sauce pot over medium heat. Add the oil and garlic and stir for about a minute, being careful not to burn the garlic. Add herbs, spices and wine; cook for about a minute.
Add olives, capers and tomatoes. Cook for about 15 minutes. You can serve either by scooping quinoa into individual bowls and pouring the sauce over it, but my way is to just mix everything into a bowl together and reserve a little sauce to pour over my serving, because I like it extra whore-y. There is no rosemary in the recipe, but my food porn was looking a little naked so I garnished it with some.
For some reason, Jason Das named all the capers in the photo on my FlickR, so if that thought entertains you then you can go check that out.
*Mix one cup dry quinoa with 2 cups water, bring to a boil then lower heat and cook uncovered for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until grain is tender and water has been absorbed.
I’m working on liking quinoa… maybe this will help.
I am soooo buying olives for this. Me and marinara sauce and quinoa work well together.
So, this’ll make people want to pay me for sex, right? I could use a side hustle.
Kalamata olives!?! No, no, no! True puttanesca is made with oil-cured olives. They are what give it its characteristic and unique flavor. Change the olives to kalamata and you’ve just got another spaghetti sauce.
Omigod I can’t believe I just challeged Isa on a matter of food. The chutzpah! But, really, I feel very strongly about puttanesca.
Don’t feel bad, pattrice!! Isa has no respect for accuracy or authenticity in ethnic food. She is the Wes Anderson of vegan cooking.
I love puttanesca. I really, really, really love it. I was sick the other day and the only think I could eat was a big bowl of it. No pasta, just the sauce. Um, yeah.
And I’m so glad that you use 1/2 cup of capers, too, not 2 tbsp like some of those namby pamby recipes out there.
when I was a kid my grandma told me that puttanesca was italian for ‘prostitute’. it always makes me laugh now.
Ouch, Jason! That hurts to the core of my being.
Pattrice, I get what you’re saying but most of us don’t have oil cured olives laying around our boudoirs.
ILLUSIONS, Isa. Tricks are what whores do for money.
I’m sorry that I hurt you.
Also, this looks delicious. Puttanesca is already one of my favorite things to make (though I’m sure yours is better). I’ve used kalamatas to make mine but will pick up some oil-cured olives to try next time.
I like how the quinoa has absorbed all the red cause you premixed. I would’ve just sauced on top.
Even since learning about puttanesca, I always have oil cured olives — so easy to find, Cento or Sun of Italy brand in the grocery store — on hand. It’s the interplay between them and the capers that is so distinctive. Kalamata olives are much closer in nature (taste and texture) to the capers, so you wouldn’t get the same complex contrast of two salty bits that are similar but completely different.
And, I’ve since discovered when working them them into other dishes, the oil cured olives provide an intense burst of the umami taste that people find in meat/cheese and often miss in vegan food.
Looks yummy, and would go nicely on top of Millet too I would think.
I think you should rename it Quin-HO-a
Jason – shove it
pattrice, we can’t all live in rural Maryland, cured olive capital of the world.
Carla – it would and it does!
uv – g1
Seriously, are oil cured olives hard to find in Brooklyn? I grew up in Baltimore, which has a big Italian-American population and Sun of Italy brand products in every grocery store. But I learned about puttanesca while living in Michigan and found oil cured olives in every grocery store there. And, yah, they’re in just about every grocery store here in rural Maryland too. Quinoa, on the other hand…
Isa-
I love you. Someday, I hope to have a unicorn collection that rivals yours. This is maybe my favorite post ever.
pattrice – they aren’t hard to find, but the are hard to find jarred so i don’t ALWAYS have them.
Lauren- you can’t “have” a unicorn collection, you have to earn it.
Is there another name for kalamata olives? I can’t ever seem to find them at my grocery.
(And this puttanesca looks phenomenal, by the way.)
HOW? how do you pronounce mimosa suggestively??
Mimoooosssssa, while rubbing an ice cube over your lips and down your cleavage.
^Bingo.
Wait. It doesn’t mean “pasta of whores”? I always thought, you know, puttanesca was like “puta” in Spanish.
Well, not “always,” maybe.
Or ever.
I never cared for capers (taste reminiscent of some dental work chemical) UNTIL I had Puttanesca. Now I crave it all the time. I have been using kalamata olives… will look for oil cured.
olives are gross, what do non-Italian whores eat? I need a contingency plan for when this Bac falls through.
Looks delicious and I’ll definitely make it!
Just a note to anyone who’s going to run out and buy the sauce in the jar as a convenience food…. the commercial stuff is made with anchovies! (Found out the hard way….)
Now I crave it all the time.
Isa I made it through life AND Vcon testing and have still never had a caper.
I want to make this real bad. Do you think if I sub red wine for the white that it would taste as raunchy?
Looks awesome Isa. Sometimes I make quinoa in sauce instead of pasta too!
sockbuttons – red wine would be really yummy. I just always have white so it shows up more often in my recipes.
I take umbrage with you making a dish with two of my least favorite things in the world: olives and capers. I appreciate you not making dishes with double-parkers and pocketless pants, though.
I was quite entertained by the naming of the capers. And I like puttanesca. And unicorns. So I guess I just like this post in general.
i have everything to make it! wooohooo! i know what i’m gonna have for lunch tomorrow!
This a little bit funny. I found your site via search engine a few moment ago, and luckily, this is the only information I was looking for the last hours.
I made this tonight with whole wheat linguine (out of convenience) for my parents. I try to go to their house and cook a vegan meal once a week. Recipe was delicious! My mom LOVES capers, pretty perfect. And my dad even commented about the Italian way of cooking the sauce, and then dumping in the pot of noodles and tossing it around. Thank you! Another successful/impressive vegan meal.
I made a a stir fry ish with Quinoa not too long ago – http://priyasnowserving.blogspot.com/2010/11/great-qu-stir-fry.html
I am very excited to try this one!
What kind of caper name is Lithophayne? For an olive, maybe, but a caper? I think not.
This sounds awesome and I will try it for dinner.
BBQ Pomegranate Tofu (Vegan w/ a Vengeance) also goes with quinoa beautifully.
This is one of my all time favorite recipes and a major comfort food for me. THANK YOU, ISA for teaching me how to prepare tofu and sharing all these awesome recipes. You are my hero.
This is so easy, so good, and definitely one of my favorites meals! Thank you!