When I have my period (I know, first the mouse droppings, now the period, can I be any more unappetizing? Unless that’s your thing…) I crave 3 things; ginger, chocolate, punching people.
Unfortunately, I can’t punch people. I don’t even really want to because I generally dislike physical contact. But I can take my aggressions out in the form of baking. Even if it is 98 degrees out and I have no air conditioning. I just think of it as similar to Bikram Yoga.
“Bikram Yoga, also known as Hot Yoga is ideally practiced in a room heated to 105?F (40.5?C) with a humidity of 50%.”
All of your tensions just kind of rise to the surface and you take it out on your product, in this case Ginger Chocolate Scones, ultimately resulting in a calm state of bliss. Scones are a perfect subject for Bikram Baking, because they are pretty forgiving and may take even better to impatience, frustration and lack of precision.
Preheat your oven, not to 350F, 350F is for weaklings. No. To 400F. You can take it.
Violently throw all of the your dry ingredients into a mixing bowl, fork a bunch of mise en place because the ingredients are so few anyway. Forget an actual sifter, just swish it all around with a fork, making nail-on-chalkboard noises as you scrape against the bowl. All the while make sure you are focusing on everyone that’s ever wronged you. Your racist 8th grade dance teacher? Fuck. Her. Screeeeeech. Your FedEx guy that refuses to ring your bell? Hope your polyester uniform is comfortable in this heat, sucker. Scraaaaatch. Dick Cheney? Well, let’s save that one for when we’re making pandowdy.
Now take that chocolate bar and just smash it with your knife. Remember that guy who said that vegans produce more methane than cows do? Your chocolate chunks should be just about the right size now.
By now some tensions have been resolved and the oven is preheated. You want out. But you know that just a few moments more and nirvana or some facsimile will be achieved. Add your wet ingredients, but eyeball those bastards because you can’t quite be trusted with glass at this point. Mix it up quickly. But channel all that impatience because you don’t want to over-mix. Is almost everything just moistened? Are there dustings of flour still left on the surface? Well, good.
Now breathe. Get it together. Gently fold in the chocolate chunks. Yes, it’s getting hot in here, but you’re not in a cramped city kitchen anymore, you’re in the Bahamas. Long before Colombus came and forked everything up.
Your baking sheet. Pristine and glistening like a sea, with a few nicks and the rough spots of history. Lightly grease it.
You have your wits about you now enough to grab a 1/4 measuring cup or perhaps an ice cream scoop. Of the earth but not attached to it. Grease that, too. Now scoop up that dough, however it falls, nice big sloppy scoops, and drop them out on your sheet, close together is fine, they will fit for it is their destiny.
Right then. Still a little anger left in you. Let it manifest itself as hope. Grab pinches of pebbly turbinado sugar and fling them onto your scones like so much fairy dust.
Now get those the oven for 15 minutes and find a room with air conditioning and wait. What are you crazy? Oh, and get someone else to clean up the mess you made.
Ginger Chocolate Chunk Scones Pile Up
Ingredients:
3 cups flour
2 tablespoons baking powder
1 1/2 tablespoons ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch allspice
1/2 cup turbinado sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 1/4 cups non-dairy milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
About 5 ounces chocolate
1st vegan scone attempt = SUCCESS!!! Hubby loved them even more than I did; maybe if I make them more often I can break him of his fast food breakfast habit (He’s not making the vegan transition so well!)
THese taste so good! They remind me more of “rock cakes” than scones in a traditional sense but who cares what they are called when they taste so divine. Bring on the ginger and spices baking recipes. The more the better!
what counts as a cup? (from uk)
did you mean 1 1/2 tsp of ground ginger (not 1 1/2 tbsp)? I have just made them and I must have done something wrong because they turned out terribly bitter…
Isa, you crack me up. Makes me feel better about my tiny apartment with no air conditioning. I bake with an ice pack on my head :-)! I like the “Bikram Baking” term, I will employ that next time I am melting in the kitchen!
holy gingerpants. I made these yesterday and substituted brown rice flour for all of it (that’s all I had) and WOAH
Woaaaahh.
So good. What is this amazing texture??
Thank you one bajillion times for your wit and scone-telligence.
Can stevia be used instead of sugar and if so how much
Which gluten free flour do you recommend?
yum! so easy, so good. husband had one and was back for the next one before they even had a chance to cool off. Used whole wheat pastry flour and choc chips. this one’s a keeper!
I made these and they were delicious! I am going to make another batch right now, but I was wondering about the 2 tablepoons of baking powder when I made them the first time, and this weekend I was looking through my mom’s cookbooks and found she has a whole bunch of your cookbooks! The basic scone recipe is almost identical, but calls for an additional 2 T of vinegar. Was that omission intentional?
I made these today, not because I am on my period, but because I made marmalade yesterday. And the combo of chocolate, ginger, and zesty citrus sounded amazing. And it is. Thanks for another wonderful recipe!
Yummy! I’ve use a table spoon of fresh minced ginger instead of the powder and or is sooo good!
Yours are the only recipes that make me laugh out loud!!!! love it
I have made this recipe on multiple occasions because it is fantastic! When I was out of ginger, I just used allspice as a replacement. It was different but still delicious. It’s a hard one to screw up.
Hadn’t seen this recipie and had craving for gingerbread so I just made Isa’s basic scone recipe from VwithaV, but substituted various things: 2 cups whole wheat and one cup winter wheat flour for regular flour; half cup molasses for soy cream, used turbinado sugar, added 3 teaspoons ground ginger and 1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. After they were on the cookie sheet I sprinkled rolled oats on top. Really good. Her basic scone recipie rocks.
This is my go-to scone recipe! Today I added orange zest, and substituted the chocolate with dates and walnuts and they were amazing!
I didn’t have JulieO’s success with substituting in whole wheat pastry flour, but I’m still looking forward to chowing down on the plate of muffin tops. I had to make coconut milk to make these, so maybe my milk was too wet without all the stabilizers that are in milk substitutes in shops.
I made these scones, except I made them gluten free with brown rice flour and oil free by omitting all oils. Still came out beautifully and deliciously!
I love this! Thank you. I am two weeks into ceasing to eat animal products & I need sweets.
These are amazing!
YUM. How many scones does this yield?
Sure I’ll clean up your mess. In a few days.
Unfortunately, the scones will be gone by then.
These are so amazing! If you eat them next day be sure to throw them in the oven for a few minutes to revive the texture. Spread some coconut oil on them and they are extra heavenly
I thought I didn’t like scones, I was wrong. A maze ing. Thank you!!
Isa Chandra is one of the deities I worship in my kitchen, for her bounty is plentiful. Take this recipe for instance… I subbed GF flour, added two mashed bananas (cuz they were resentfully browning on the sidelines…), a big ‘ole handful of rolled oats, and eyeballed additional coconut milk to compensate. This recipe LAUGHED in the face of my pre-coffee-inspired additions, and came out perfect anyways.
Thy bounty is plentiful.