Why is there a picture of a quiche here?

I can never remember how to make oatmeal.

It’s embarrassing, and it’s not just a one-time embarrassment that I can work out in therapy, it’s an every other morning embarrassment where I stand immobilized at my kitchen counter in complete disbelief that I really need to read the goddam oatmeal container again. So it’s always weird to hear myself talking about food.

This interview with Weekend Edition’s LeAnn Hanson, featuring me and the uncharacteristically chatty Terry, was really fun! Terry and I got to walk through the hallowed halls of NPR and sip on their filtered water. After it aired yesterday, 2 out of the 3 top cookbooks on Amazon were vegan ones. That would be Skinny Bitch in the Kitch (big ups to Rory and Kim! You guys should be our frenemies!) and Veganomicon. And the third one wasn’t even a cookbook, but it does have a chapter on veganism*. So I would say that the score board for 2008 looks like veganism: 1, meat: 0.

My muscles are pretty permanently clenched when I think of the rest of the year, on both a personal and political level or if you want to be feminist about it, what’s the difference? We’ve got the elections coming up and I am sure that president Kucinich would have retroactively declared this the year of the vegan if he hadn’t gotten the boot, so now I guess president Obama will have to carry the torch. Do you remember the carefree nineties, when the president was able to declare things “The Year Of…” Now every year is pretty much the same what with the war and torture. Not that the nineties were all that awesome, but they were better. I feel like all plans are on hold until November, which is pretty much how I felt in 2004.

However, the world still needs vegan cookbooks no matter what happens and so I am thrilled (well, as thrilled as someone who is sitting on her couch in bra and pajama bottoms at noon can be) to announce mine and Terry’s upcoming projects, some together and some separately. Not because we don’t love each other, but because we would like to continue loving each other.

Spring 2009: The Crack Of Noon - A Vegan Brunch Book by me!
Fall 2009: Vegan Cookies (title TBA) by Terry and me!
Fall 2010: Vegan Latina (title TBA) by Terry Hope Romero!
Fall 2010: Vegan Entertaining (title TBA) by me and maybe by Terry a little bit, we shall see

I know those dates sound crazy. “2010? We’re not going to have a 2010. ” But it will come faster than we think and if I get this time machine working, even faster still. Thanks for all the love and support, everyone. For seriously.

*That would be Professors Who Hunt Boar And Justify It Because They Think It’s Awesome And Thrilling To Hang Out With Non-Academics In Any Capacity But Especially A Manly One by Michael Pollan.

I feel like a horrible secular Jew and a horrible non-secular vegan. It’s the middle of Hannukah and I haven’t posted a latkes recipes yet. Well, better late than never. These are in Veganomicon and are the most irresistible fried potato concoction there is. Serve with apple sauce, if you’ve got VwaV the roasted applesauce in there is great with these. But any apple sauce will do, really.

Potato Latkes

Makes about 18

Image stolen from Tofu666

2 1/2 pounds starchy white potatoes, peeled (russets, idaho, et al)
1 small yellow onion, peeled
1/4 cup potato or corn starch
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cups matzoh meal

Lots of vegetable oil

If using a food processor:
Use the grating blade to shredd the potatoes and the onion.

If shredding by hand, use a grater to shred all the potatoes. Dice the onion as finely as possible.

Have ready brown paper shopping bags or paper towels for draining the oil from the latkes. You may also want to have the oven on at 200 F to keep the latkes warm until you’re ready to serve. If serving immediately then just have a baking pan covered with tin foil ready to keep the finished ones warm after they’ve been drained.

In a large mixing bowl, using a wooden spoon or your hands (I use my hands, it’s faster) mix the potatoes and onions with the potato starch until the potatoes have released some moisture and the sornstarch is dissolved, about 2 minutes.

Add the salt and pepper to combine. Add the matzoh meal and mix well. Set aside for about 10 minutes. The mixture should get liquid-y but sticky.

In the meantime, preheat a large preferable cast iron but definitely non-stick skillet over medium heat, a little bit on the high side. Add about 1/4 inch layer of vegetable oil to the pan. The oil is hot enough when you throw a bit of batter in and bubbles rapidly form around it. If it immediately smokes then the heat is too high and you should lower it a bit. If the bubbles are really lazy then give it a few more minutes or turn the heat up a bit.

With wet hands (so that the mixture doesn’t stick) roll into small golf ball sized balls. Flatten into thin round patties. I do about 4 to six at a time. Fry on one side for about 4 minutes, until golden brown. Flip over and fry for another 3 minutes.

Transfer to the paper towels and proceed with the remaining latkes. Once latkes have drained on both sides, place in a baking pan to keep warm.

I don’t mind losing to Nigella, it is an honor to even be in the running (plus I saw her make something vegan once.) But I have to say that it feels really really really really good to be a step above RayRay. I’m sure it won’t last and I’m sure I’m being really petty but our mission statement does say that we intend to bring the Food Network to its knees. Surely this is the beginning of it.

This is the Amazon list for overall cookbooks.

Edited to add: I jinxed myself and now we’re #9. It was good while it lasted!

A cthulu looking V-con Seitan Picatta from Asstrogirl on flickR

Fittingly, publishing cookbooks is a lot like cooking for a crowd. You do all that work, marvel at the finished dishes, and wait with bated breath for guests to arrive. You have a sense of accomplishment having completed the dinner but really you can’t fully exhale until everyone has taken their first bite, and good or bad at least you know what’s up.

So basically I am here in front of my computer way more often than I should be, watching everyone take their first bite. My favorite part is the photographs. On blogs and on flickR, it’s such a rush to see the dishes come alive in the kitchens of our readers. Sometimes, despite my gothic instincts, I am compelled to clap when something comes out right. Of course I cringe when it doesn’t and sigh when I thought it wouldn’t and then it ultimately does.

Today we got our first feedback from the mainstream press- a Publishers Weekly starred review. For cookbook authors that’s like being in Junior High and the guy that you’re in love with (the one with the tail and the cool Reeboks) nods your way in the hallway.

From Publishers Weekly:

“While most vegan cookbooks are anemic, underfed volumes?some no-brainer pasta recipes, a few things to do with tofu, maybe some oddball desserts?this slam-bang effort from vegan chefs Moskowitz and Romero (Vegan with a Vengeance) is thorough and robust, making admirable use of every fruit and vegetable under the sun, without once asking readers to make do with fake meat products and egg replacements. Instead, the eccentric authors offer dozens of novel, delicious ways to get excited about eating meat-, dairy- and egg-free. Take Southwestern Corn Pudding, a winning casserole rich with coconut milk and an unexpected dash of maple syrup?a likely MVP at your next Thanksgiving (whether it?s centered around turkey or tofu). Almost as addictive are Rustic White Beans and Mushrooms, which get their bite from fresh herbs, and Lentils and Rice with Caramelized Onions and Spiced Pita Crisps, a transcendent Middle Eastern comfort food. Vegan breakfasts get overdue attention: sitting in front of a hot stack of velvety Blueberry Corn Pancakes and hearty Blue Flannel Hash, who?s going to miss the bacon? Best of all is the wide selection of terrific desserts: everything from Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies to decadent Caramel-Apple-Spice Cupcakes boldy fill the space where most eggless, milkless and butterless cookbooks fear to tread.”

Zomigod.

Josh says “Just 4 extra dollars will help feed me for about 2 hours.” Won’t you please support vegan business?

To be honest, we are thrilled with our Amazon stats. Veganomicon is currently the #1 vegan cookbook and #8 in cookbooks over all. There is definitely something thrilling about beating Anthony Bourdain (literally) and Mark Bittman (figuratively) and anyone else who receives endless pimping from the NY Times and The Food Network.

But we want to remind you to support vegan businesses when you buy Veganomicon. Maybe you already purchased yours, but Hannukah is coming up, isn’t it? And, okay fine, Christmas, too. Believe me, I know that sometimes you have to just do Amazon as funds allow, but if you have a few extra bucks our vegan businesses could use it.

The following stores will have Veganomicon in stock next week. Throw them a little love…and throw it hard!

Cosmos Vegan Shoppe (now taking preorders!)

Food Fight Grocery (hold off on ordering until Nov. 4th)

Herbivore Clothing Company (they should have some next week)

Humanitaire

Edited to Add: This contest is over! Thanks to everyone who participated!

Because junior high school was awful and therapy is expensive, the winner of this contest is actually a loser. Tell us about a talent show that you lost. I’ll pick a few losers to send books to.

What is it about a talent show that makes us put our hair in a side ponytail?

For this give away, you’ll need to get a DNA sample from Terry. Or just somehow guess her nationality. Terry’s parents are from two separate countries, can you name them? It’s kind of tough, so I’ll give hints throughout the contest.

Terry in all her glory. Is she even from Earth?

EDIT: The contest is over. Please stop guessing. Come by for a new contest tomorrow!

The 80s weren’t afraid of anything. Even the wholesome family sitcoms covered the issues. Drug addiction, child molestation, racism, homosexuality. And that was just one episode of the Golden Girls. I know that liberal-minded people think that the world has become more conservative and conservative-minded people think the opposite, but I think that today’s political climate makes the Tipper Gore VS Twisted Sister controversy seem downright innocent.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this Give Away for bringing back so many memories. I always wonder how I knew what a vegetarian was as a child, and it must be because of some TV show in the 80s. I definitely never knew any real life vegetarians.

But there can only be two winners. After weeding out my friends from the entries, I’ve decided on Mary’s ALF submission.

“Someone already mentioned ALF?s love for eating cats, but in episode 46 of season 2 ALF attempts to get rid of a a stray dog the family has taken in that is garnering attention away from ALF. ALF gives the dog to a mean woman in the neighborhood.

ALF also saves a cockroach that has invaded the house from the family - Willie keeps trying to spray it with insecticide.

There are many important AR references in ALF.”

Yeah, mumbles had already brought up Alf, but I know him and he doesn’t cook anyway.

“I?m going to make the case for ALF. Every time he tried to eat the Tanner?s cat, he challenged our speciesist hypocrisy by highlighting the absurdity of treating some animals as food sources and others as cherished companions. And he does that in just about every episode. Probably overplaying the message a little, honestly.”

Plus Alf is like A.L.F. and that joke never gets old.

The next winner is Sangu for Punky Brewster.

“There was an episode of Punky Brewster where her dog, Brandon bites a neighbor. The neighbor wants him put down, but it turned out that the neighbor was beating her daughter so Brandon bit her to protect the girl. It ended up being an animal/child abuse/dog saves the day/dog gets to live episode.”

I like this one because it makes connections between human and non-human abuses. And, fine, because I loved Punky Brewster.

As for the Mr. Belvedere thing, that episode where Kevin gets arrested for spray painting fur coats completely inspired me! I know that he gets arrested and the lesson is not to spray paint fur coats, but all that I took from it was that it is awesome to spray paint furcoats. Not that I advocate spray painting fur coats!

Thanks to everyone who participated. It was a really tough decision and some stiff competition. I’d like to leave you with a video from an also-ran, because in the 80s you were allowed to call poachers evil without fear of being branded judgmental even if you were a four foot tall purple alien. And even if it was the 90s. (But really the early 90s were just what I call the post-80s.)

Is there anything vegan about these people?

Name a tv show from the 80s or 90s that has an animal rights episode. There were many - so name the show and what the episode was about. Bonus points for youtube clips! I’ll pick 2 people to receive Veganomicon. Have fun!

Edited: After a little complaining, I changed the rules from sit-com to any TV show and changed it to involve the 90s as well.

SonOfSeitan aka Mike Desert aka Mike Sunburn was the clear winner of the limerick contest with such gems as:

There once was a vegan from Tempe
She loved to suck cork quite a plenty
With an Italian one night
Though try as she might
His erection was barely al dente.

And his softer limerickal side:

Our planet is all going to shit
A fact that few people admit
The cows burp and fart
Up pops a Wal*Mart
As I shine an apple off with my spit

But there was a total conflict of interest there because he was a Veganomicon tester. So he’s going to be getting his book early, plus another book later, but I have to pick a second winner. So after a couple of quick IMs with a few accomplished limerickcists I settled on sugarbeettree:

My date likes to fondle the fruit.
My asparagus thinks it?s quite cute.
But when en route
to a steamy en cro?te
beware the covert ginger root.

I’m not sure what it actually means. But I think what we’ve learned from all this is that either vegans suck at limericks or maybe everyone sucks at limericks or maybe limericks just suck.

Thanks everyone for playing! Sugarbeet, send me your address!

The next contest will probably be over the weekend and definitely will not involve rhyming.