I’m not sure if a more vegan day could be had. My friend Melisser took me shopping at Rainbow Grocery with her chihuahua Strummer. I guess I could just end this post right here and we would all die happy.

But, OK, whoever is still alive let’s soldier on.

The plan was to make matzoh balls for my goyem antisemites  friends in San Francisco who had never had that ball which is a matzoh. We also wanted to try out our new Dandie vegan marshmallows. See? Could we get any more vegan?

From the bundles of fresh greens to the overflowing bins of dried berries, Rainbow was mind blowing. You could hardly dream up a dish with the beautiful trumpet mushrooms before sensuous tendrils of enoki caught your eye. We settled on a menu of roasted root vegetables over baby arugula and hunza berries, cauliflower leek kugel, sauteed trumpet mushrooms with grilled red endive and toasted walnuts, roasted red pepper and kalamata hummus and of course the aforementioned matzoh balls.

We didn’t want dessert to be too fussy since we had so much going on. I remembered the salty sweet chocolate covered matzoh that I used to sneak before dinner at my grandma’s house (is there anything Jews won’t cover in chocolate?) and Melisser really wanted s’mores (well, who doesn’t?) and it seemed as if the clouds parted and we both shouted JEWISH SMORES! although I doubt it happened exactly like that.

So picture laying in the grass on a beautiful spring day, just warm enough that you can use your hoodie as a pillow rather than wear it. A big fluffy cloud passes overhead and you think “I want to eat that.” There you have the Dandie experience. I love these marshmallows. They’re firm enough to sink your teeth into while still being soft. Just the right amount of vanilla and a sweetness that isn’t cloyingly so. To make the Jewish S’mores, we dipped broken up pieces of matzoh in dark chocolate, placed some chopped ’shmallows on top, drizzled in even more chocolate, then sprinkled with some coarse flaked salt and placed them on parchment to set. Perfection.

So 2 pound chihuahuas, vegan marshmallows, San Francisco, and friends not letting friends never have matzoh ball soup. Not a bad start to my spring.

Where does the time go? I understand that my 17th year was spent beating Mario Brothers 3 on Nintendo 64, but what about this year? And the one before? I’ve played a little Cooking Mama, but video games can’t be the culprit here.

It’s actually been 5 years since Terry and I made the PPK Passover episode and made “Nazi Punks Fork Off” the official matzoh ball anthem. (Ever notice how few Passover songs there are?) Ever since that fateful day I have been shvitzing like a shlemazl trying to bring you a ferkafte matzoh ball soup recipe that didn’t contain tofu. I was farblonget, farmisht and ferklempt, but I persevered. (Anyone got a good yiddish word for persevering?)

And today I bring you Flaxen Matzoh Balls, via Julie Wiener’s article in the Jewish Week. Also in the article is a tropical spin on the latke made with yucca and a mango salsa. And if you want to do some heavy lifting this Passover, the heeb’n'vegan is always up to something to keep your brain in shape.

Hannukah was heartbreak city for me here in Portland. There were no electrical menorahs anywhere! Bubkis! On my last trip to NYC I safeguarded against the same eventuality for Passover and went on a crap finding mission, procuring Passover ephemera from the LES to the UES. I finally understand how my midwestern Jewish friends felt upon coming to NYC for the first time. Maybe not as romantic as our great grandparents on their ships approaching Ellis Island, but I’m sure their Greyhounds pulling into Port Authority moments to remember, too. Anyway, I found these Passover Masks at the Jewish Museum.

The ten plagues, in convenient mask form!

Gingerbread from back in the day

What a difference 4 years makes. When Terry and I made these Gingerbread Punks for a lost episode of Post Punk Kitchen, we seemed to have all the time in the world to mix colors, make leopard spots and paint on fishnets. And, apparently, we didn’t know how to turn off the flash on our camera. My kitchen was so tiny we had to roll the cookies out on the coffee table and balance bowls of neon icing in precarious ways; sometimes on a stack of books, sometimes on a cat - we made do. When I was moving to Portland I actually found one of these cookies in the back of one of my cabinets.

Now we’re 3,000 miles apart, we have dishwashers and counterspace and I can barely muster up a couple of dots for my little gingerbread bread eyes. But whether you’re going all out or part of the gingerbread minimalist movement, this recipe is a surefire winner that will have you singing Christmas carols under your breath and then looking around to make sure no one heard you.

Modern minimalist gingerbread guys

Gingerbread Cut-Out Cookies
Makes about 16 cookies (depending on the size of your cutters)

1/3 cup canola oil
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup plain soymilk

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour or all-purpose flour (or a mix of both)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

spice blend:
1/2 teaspoon each ground nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

Directions
In a large bowl whisk together oil and sugar for about 3 minutes. Add molasses and soymilk. The molasses and soymilk won’t really blend with the oil but that’s ok.

Sift in all of the other dry ingredients, mixing about half way through. When all of the dry ingredients are added, mix until a stiff dough is formed. Flatten the dough into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and chill for an hour or up to 3 days in advance. If you chill longer than an hour you may want to let it sit for 10 minutes to warm up a bit before proceeding.
Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease your cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.

On a lightly floured surface roll the dough out to a little less than 1/4 inch thick. Cut out your shapes with your cookie cutters and use a thin spatula to gently place on cookie sheets. If you are using them to decorate a tree or something, remember to punch a hole in their heads (!) before baking. Bake for 8 minutes.

Remove from oven and let them cool for 2 minutes on the baking sheet then move to a cooling rack. Wait until they are completely cool before icing.