“Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay”

-Robert Frost

And so it goes with scrambled tofu in Brooklyn. One day it’s there, the next day the restaurant is boarded up or just plumb stopped serving it. But the good news is that new places to find it pop up all the time, and the cycle of life continues.

It’s rough all over, Ponyboy. But scrambled tofu makes it easier.

My latest pilgrimage to tofuland was Flatbush Farm. There’s a lot of hoopla surrounding this place, so I was kind of expecting something awesome. Instead I got something pretty forking good, and I can’t complain. Their scrambled tofu ($10) was from the heavily curried school of scrambles, with little flecks of red that could have been either tomato or red pepper, they were too small to tell. It came with a side of tangy stewed collards, which were melt in your mouth yummy, and whole grain grilled bread. On the side I ordered hash browns ($5) which ended up being the sleeper hit. I love when a dish makes you think, and I have to say, if it’s a potato dish that makes you think, all the better. I have no idea how they did this! It was casserolish, baked and sliced into thick wedges. With potatoes I never want obtrusive flavors, I really just want potato, and you can tell that Flatbush Farm used good high quality ones that needed very little fanfare. Perfect.

Magical hash browns

Service was really speedy and friendly, and good about answering vegan questions. I think our food was on the table within five minutes of ordering, that’s really how you know you’re not in a vegan restaurant. The dining room is nice and sparse, with high ceilings and black plank floors. A good solid place for brunch I will definitely be returning to.

One thing that was funny, whatever font they use makes it look like their scrambled tofu is 18 bucks instead of 10. I was prepared to try it for 18, if that gives you any insight into the sorry state of vegan brunch in Brooklyn.

Flatbush F A R M

Brooklyn is woefully behind the times with vegan food. I mean, compared to Nebraska it’s aight, but being so close to Manhattan you would think that some of the magic would rub off. Instead, mostly the decidedly unvegan stuff rubs off, so here we are with a few dozen places that serve octopus salad or rabbit medallions, not to mention the 3K a month studio apartments, and hardly a tempeh reuben to be found. Jerks. So this week I’m going to post a review a day, sampling the best, the worst and the mediocrest that the BK has to offer.

On the rainiest day we’ve had in years, Jason Das and I scurried over to a new place called Earth Tonez. I was hopeful about this place, it’s located just down the street from the future Brooklyn ‘sNice (more about that later this week) so it had better be good, especially if their specialty is sandwiches. The sandwich and salad descriptions looked promising, if lacking in innovation. I would love to have a decent Caesar salad in the neighborhood. But it turns out that their fake chicken wasn’t even vegan, so there goes half the menu items. And, if it’s not obvious from that last sentence, most of their offerings were of the fake meat variety and so could be whipped up at home for much cheaper.

Which brings me to the next problem, the 9 and a half dollar sandwich. I settled on the Bada Bing, which the really nice owner recommended. It was store bought veggie sausage with marinara sauce, unmelted soy cheese and sauteed peppers sitting on a pile of blue corn chips. And it was 9 and a half dollars. It came with a tiny ramekin of a corn avocado salad but I don’t know that this was even standard. Jason got the Philly Cheese steak which was seitan and cheese. Decent enough, less expensive than my sandwich, and they obviously put care into the sandwich making, but not impressive enough to keep us from going to ’sNice when it does indeed open.

This sandwich is ok, but is it 9.50 okay?

The owner (who, as I said, was really nice!) was fiddling around with a Red Mango Bakery cake when we got there, so of course we finished our meal with a slice. Unfortunately, they don’t even serve real coffee, which was another minus, because it really would have helped. We picked a Chocolate Chai cake, and it must have been sitting around for a few weeks because the flavor was there but it was really dry and tasted a bit of fridge. So. That sort of sucked.

It’s a new place so I hope they step up their game, offer more vegan options and vary their menu. Lose the stunt meat, up the veggies and beans and homemade sandwich fillings. Maybe add a side to make the just-shy-of-ten-bucks price tag worth it; potato salad or a pasta salad, something cheap but satisfying. The things it has going for it are friendly staff, reasonably priced muffins and cookies (but with no coffee?) and a nice space with exposed brick and tin ceilings. I will give it another try, but not for a few months. And after seeing this review they might clock me one if I enter, so maybe I better not. But if fake meat sandwiches are your deal then maybe you would absolutely love this place as is.

Nice people means repeat customers, even with the problems

I couldn’t find any online info for Earth Tonez- not even a MySpace or blog or anything, but click the thumbnails for the menu. It has a very odd tagline: Healthy Alternatives For The Meat Eater. Maybe that’s part of the problem?

Twiiiiinkie

Last night I ran into my friend Kimberly at Pizza Plus. In fact, every time I go there I run into someone I know, and it’s getting a little embarrassing.

Anyway, Kimberly is a former Satya staffer, and when they closed their doors she started up her own baking business called Vegan Honey. Her Etsy store features childhood favorites, like Twinkies and Chocodiles. “I just make whatever I know I want to eat.” She told me yesterday, completely oblivious to the fact that I was secretly interviewing her for my blog.

Some of her other tasty offerings are Spiced Apple Turnovers, Coney Island Chocolate Dippers (chocolaty sprinkled pretzel rods), and Pecan Sticky Bombs. She even makes treats for your doggy! And to sweeten the pot, 5% of the profits go to animal advocacy causes. So go support one of the hardest working vegans in Brooklyn, as well as your sweet tooth. She ships all over the US and Canada.

Kimberly showing off her healthy vegan tongue on MySpace

Broccoli Rabe, Capers and Garlic Pie

I’m not sure what I did before Pizza Plus. Wandered around the streets of Park Slope aimlessly, bumping into baby carriages, eavesdropping on home-owners’ tax conversations and the injustice of it all. But now my life has a point, and that point is Pizza Plus.

In the past I’ve been known to say things like “It melts. So what?” But Pizza Plus seems to have found the perfect melting point for Follow Your Heart Cheese. I feel like the Germans must have a phrase for this melting point because they have a phrase for everything. But it comes out of the oven drippingly hot, then cools down ever so slightly to become…well, cheese for lack of a better word.

Mushroom, Tomato and Basil Pie

Everyone who works there is really nice and Brooklyn accents are included. They also have a range of fresh, creative toppings. So far my favorite pies have been 1~ broccoli rabe, capers and garlic 2~pineapple, peppers and soy sausage 3~tomatoes, basil and mushroom (also with garlic cause that’s how I do.) And since it’s a real pizza place and not a vegan place they don’t completely rip you off. Yeah, I said it.

Call ahead to make sure they have soy cheese, just in case!

And down the block The Chocolate Girl serves vegan soft serve in chocolate dipped and sprinkled cones. Not quite chocolate-y enough for me, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Terry and I demo’ed a recipe at the BBG Chile Fest yesterday and although rife with drama (or maybe because it was rife with drama) it was a good time. The first weird part was that there was no one to introduce us - a fend for yourself sort of thing. The second weird part was that it was outdoors and there was no amplification. So everyone was shouting for us to talk louder (mostly my mom that traitor!) and there were planes flying overhead.

I implore the masses to go vegan

At one point my pushy pregnant sister actually came up to the front, got up in my grill (no pun intended) and told us we had to talk louder and we had a big sister fight in front of everyone. Somehow Terry and I still managed to complete the recipe - Yucca Latkes with Chocolate Chile Mole and Apple Salsa. The samples we prepared ahead of time came out cold but that didn’t seem to stop anyone.

Anyway, I love the gardens and I it was great to be able to do the demo but from now on I am going to make sure that our demos have mics, because shouting and cooking is no fun. My spies told me that people were whispering “You can’t have Hannukah without eggs!” Yeah, just watch us!

Yucca Latkes with Chocolate Chile Mole and Apple Salsa

No, I mean, a whole nother vegan cooking show in Brooklyn! Learn how to fight zombies and make ice cream! (Hint: You need a cast iron pan for one and 2 tin cans for the other.) If you can’t see the video below, click the comments and you’ll be able to see it.

From Vegan Hedonism.