Only The Vegan Knows Brooklyn: Earth Tonez Review

Brooklyn is woefully behind the times with vegan food. I mean, compared to Nebraska it’s aight, but being so close to Manhattan you would think that some of the magic would rub off. Instead, mostly the decidedly unvegan stuff rubs off, so here we are with a few dozen places that serve octopus salad or rabbit medallions, not to mention the 3K a month studio apartments, and hardly a tempeh reuben to be found. Jerks. So this week I’m going to post a review a day, sampling the best, the worst and the mediocrest that the BK has to offer.

On the rainiest day we’ve had in years, Jason Das and I scurried over to a new place called Earth Tonez. I was hopeful about this place, it’s located just down the street from the future Brooklyn ‘sNice (more about that later this week) so it had better be good, especially if their specialty is sandwiches. The sandwich and salad descriptions looked promising, if lacking in innovation. I would love to have a decent Caesar salad in the neighborhood. But it turns out that their fake chicken wasn’t even vegan, so there goes half the menu items. And, if it’s not obvious from that last sentence, most of their offerings were of the fake meat variety and so could be whipped up at home for much cheaper.

Which brings me to the next problem, the 9 and a half dollar sandwich. I settled on the Bada Bing, which the really nice owner recommended. It was store bought veggie sausage with marinara sauce, unmelted soy cheese and sauteed peppers sitting on a pile of blue corn chips. And it was 9 and a half dollars. It came with a tiny ramekin of a corn avocado salad but I don’t know that this was even standard. Jason got the Philly Cheese steak which was seitan and cheese. Decent enough, less expensive than my sandwich, and they obviously put care into the sandwich making, but not impressive enough to keep us from going to ’sNice when it does indeed open.

This sandwich is ok, but is it 9.50 okay?

The owner (who, as I said, was really nice!) was fiddling around with a Red Mango Bakery cake when we got there, so of course we finished our meal with a slice. Unfortunately, they don’t even serve real coffee, which was another minus, because it really would have helped. We picked a Chocolate Chai cake, and it must have been sitting around for a few weeks because the flavor was there but it was really dry and tasted a bit of fridge. So. That sort of sucked.

It’s a new place so I hope they step up their game, offer more vegan options and vary their menu. Lose the stunt meat, up the veggies and beans and homemade sandwich fillings. Maybe add a side to make the just-shy-of-ten-bucks price tag worth it; potato salad or a pasta salad, something cheap but satisfying. The things it has going for it are friendly staff, reasonably priced muffins and cookies (but with no coffee?) and a nice space with exposed brick and tin ceilings. I will give it another try, but not for a few months. And after seeing this review they might clock me one if I enter, so maybe I better not. But if fake meat sandwiches are your deal then maybe you would absolutely love this place as is.

Nice people means repeat customers, even with the problems

I couldn’t find any online info for Earth Tonez- not even a MySpace or blog or anything, but click the thumbnails for the menu. It has a very odd tagline: Healthy Alternatives For The Meat Eater. Maybe that’s part of the problem?

earthtonez1.jpg

earthtonez2.jpg

16 Responses to “Only The Vegan Knows Brooklyn: Earth Tonez Review”

  1. Auntie X Says:

    Soy-free chicken with wheat-free teriyaki sauce… don’t the two of those cancel each other out in terms of allergies?

    Too bad about the price tag. We have a place out here in the sticks called O’Naturals with similar price issues. Paying an arm and a leg for a veggie burger isn’t such a deal when they won’t even throw in a bag of chips…

  2. IsaChandra Says:

    Yeah, the dietary exclusions didn’t make much sense. Vegan dressing on a salad that has parmesan cheese and non-vegan vegetarian chicken?

  3. raddish Says:

    And what was the deal with the capital lettered OMGzZ THIS IS VEGAN stuff. Also, I find the adjective “delightful” offensive.

    The sammich looks nice, but the no-real-coffee situation would kill me!

  4. robiewankenobie Says:

    y’know, if the owner is nice? i would think you might approach him and tell him this stuff. you know more than anyone what other options are available to him. a little, “hey, i love your joint, but this stuff is a bummer” would be helpful, i would think.

    i recently called up mellow mushroom headquarters to complain about the casein in their soycheese, and gave them some ideas about what other options are floating around. it was a really friendly exchange, and could possibly *cross fingers* yield a positive outcome.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    When you say they’re not serving real coffee, do you mean they’re not serving drip? They’re using those coffee pods? (I guess they’re sorta drip-like.) Or cold coffee liquid mix? Or crystals? Which is it, Moskowitz?

  6. debya Says:

    (sorry, that’s me up thar.)

  7. IsaChandra Says:

    Not coffee pods, just like, grain coffee or whatever. Look at the menu!

  8. debya Says:

    Oh, “Angelika” Coffee.

  9. al Says:

    that red mango chocolate chai cake is super awesome when it’s fresh. we sold them at tea lounge when i worked there, but they’d only get to sell half the cake because i’d take the other half home. soo good.

  10. Amy Says:

    I’d probably go there for cake, if I ever get sick of slices of Vegan Treats from VSpot. But really, I’m just holding out for ’sNice. They will have REAL coffee right??!?

  11. Gwenlet Says:

    What’s up with the Nebraska-bashing? In Lincoln, where I live sometimes and where Lauren lives, there’s a coffee house where you can get vegan scones and muffins (and soy and rice milk, obviously), two grocery stores where there’s vegan deli food, a vegetarian place with lots of vegan options, a Greek restaurant with a vegan menu, and Indian restaurant with a vegan menu, and a pizza place with an international beer bar AND FYH mozzarella. Which they manage to melt. Given that Brooklyn has to cater to a lot more than 250k people, I’m thinking that Nebraska wins. Or at least, Lincoln does.

  12. anon Says:

    earth tonez soups are good–you have to ask if they’re vegan. But they’re homemade, tasty. red velvet cake is amazing.

  13. midwestern transport Says:

    i disagree, i prefer earth tonez to ’snice. i agree that it’s rawther pricey, but the sandwiches that i’ve gotten there have been much better than the ones i got at ’snice.

    i was, in fact, really disappointed with ’snice. i read great stuff about it, then went and got one of the dryest sandwiches i’ve ever eaten. i even went back a second time, got a different sandwich and got the same result. it was a serious bummer.

    i do agree that there should be more vegan options.

    and also, i agree with anon that the red velvet cake is fan-freakin-tastic.

  14. Brad Silk Says:

    You should go again and re-review it. I only went this last month and nothing seems in tune with your review–except the super friendly employees.
    Perhaps they stepped it up a bit since their opening… My 5 spice burger, while store bought, was not left to its devises. The burger was treated well with the spice and condiments, and given a healthy side of blue corn chips and corn salsa. My dessert was a slice of carrot cake, which was the size of two slices, and it was moist and tasty even through the travel of delivery.
    My sister found out that everything has vegan option, which was not true at the opening.
    I’ve only been one other time, for dessert, but I hope to go again and try the menu.

  15. Jumaane (Owner) Says:

    Hello all,
    Thanks for all the comments, the good ones really help us keep going and the not so good ones, help us change for the better.

    Its been 6 months now (this is our first venture) and we continue to try and adapt to customer needs. We do now have a vegan option for everything. We have also lowered the price on 95% of the menu, though its hard to lower it any further because:
    1) We don’t freeze our vegetables, only fresh ones are used
    2) We use bio-degradable take-out packaging and earth friendly cleaners
    3) We try to be as health-conscious as possible eg. we sweeten our teas and lemonade with agave nectar and not simple sugars.

    As far as coffee is concerned we are still on the fence, however the ROMA coffee substitute is good, please come try a sample.

    For those who enjoy our food thanks a bunch and please come again. For those who didn’t, please come try us again.

    Thanks :) and peace

  16. Paris Slifer Says:

    I just bought my second Polaris 280. My first is still running however not as strong as after I first purchased it. Nevertheless the factor works great. It does a nice job of stirring things up if it so the filter has an opportunity to work.

Leave a Reply