This is Loca, but I call her Bowie because of her mismatched eyes. And her trend setting ways.

I’m at Eastern Shore Sanctuary for the week, watching Pattrice Jones completely demolish oppression while I cruise the internet and take photographs, with the occasional cooking and dish washing thrown in. I can’t imagine what kind of world we would live in if everyone worked as hard as Pattrice does. Probably a world with lots of happy chickens.

It’s amazing to watch these birds interact, and to hear Pattrice tell their stories. Michael and Christopher drove up to Brooklyn to pick me up along with four hens and a rooster. The hens are already acclimating to sanctuary life. Here they are on their first day. Well, one of them, and the feet of the others.

It’s a myth that you can’t have more than one rooster around hens. There are maybe 40 or so here. And they all have their own personalities, you’d have to be working really hard not see it.

The fighting roosters learn to get along with one another. The “broiler” hens learn to trust. Dogs lick cat’s faces. Ducks talk to humans. When they say that they’re just stupid animals they are lying. Unless they’re talking about humans.

Just up the street 40,000 chickens are crammed into a shed. Watching one chicken here at the sanctuary living her life, pecking at her food and nuzzling her friend or even having a little tiff, it is mind boggling to imagine the cruelty that humans are capable of. I could never hurt these little guys and of course I can’t see killing one. I guess most people just don’t know, or don’t want to know. Of course some don’t even care.

The thing is, if you open yourself up to it there is suddenly beauty everywhere. And if beauty isn’t your thing, how about freedom?

I want to make something clear. Even though vegans may not hate everyone, they do hate Anthony Bourdain.

Is there a more loathsome person? Here is a man who sends his busboy to buy his drugs. A man who - with a straight face - accused the Rock-N-Roll Hall Of Fame of being sellouts. I can’t wait to hear his critique of Hard Rock Cafe jackets or Avril Lavigne.

So here is my list of 10 things that are more punk than Anthony Bourdain “bad boy” chef (snicker, snort). Feel free to add your own!

10) Rachael Ray

9) A 94 Chevy Celebrity

8 ) Dungeons And Dragons

7) A brand new shopping mall

6) That aggravating feeling you get when you can’t remember the name of Alf’s earth family*

5) Croquet

4) Good Charlotte

3) The National Weather Service

2) Belly button lint

And the number one thing that is punker than Anthony Bourdain…

1) Otters holding hands!

*The Tanners!

Why is there a picture of a quiche here? 

I can never remember how to make oatmeal.

It’s embarrassing, and it’s not just a one-time embarrassment that I can work out in therapy, it’s an every other morning embarrassment where I stand immobilized at my kitchen counter in complete disbelief that I really need to read the goddam oatmeal container again. So it’s always weird to hear myself talking about food.

This interview with Weekend Edition’s LeAnn Hanson, featuring me and the uncharacteristically chatty Terry, was really fun! Terry and I got to walk through the hallowed halls of NPR and sip on their filtered water. After it aired yesterday, 2 out of the 3 top cookbooks on Amazon were vegan ones. That would be Skinny Bitch in the Kitch (big ups to Rory and Kim! You guys should be our frenemies!) and Veganomicon. And the third one wasn’t even a cookbook, but it does have a chapter on veganism*. So I would say that the score board for 2008 looks like veganism: 1, meat: 0.

My muscles are pretty permanently clenched when I think of the rest of the year, on both a personal and political level or if you want to be feminist about it, what’s the difference? We’ve got the elections coming up and I am sure that president Kucinich would have retroactively declared this the year of the vegan if he hadn’t gotten the boot, so now I guess president Obama will have to carry the torch. Do you remember the carefree nineties, when the president was able to declare things “The Year Of…” Now every year is pretty much the same what with the war and torture. Not that the nineties were all that awesome, but they were better. I feel like all plans are on hold until November, which is pretty much how I felt in 2004.

However, the world still needs vegan cookbooks no matter what happens and so I am thrilled (well, as thrilled as someone who is sitting on her couch in bra and pajama bottoms at noon can be) to announce mine and Terry’s upcoming projects, some together and some separately. Not because we don’t love each other, but because we would like to continue loving each other.

Spring 2009: The Crack Of Noon - A Vegan Brunch Book by me!
Fall 2009: Vegan Cookies (title TBA) by Terry and me!
Fall 2010: Vegan Latina (title TBA) by Terry Hope Romero!
Fall 2010: Vegan Entertaining (title TBA) by me and maybe by Terry a little bit, we shall see

I know those dates sound crazy. “2010? We’re not going to have a 2010. ” But it will come faster than we think and if I get this time machine working, even faster still. Thanks for all the love and support, everyone. For seriously.

*That would be Professors Who Hunt Boar And Justify It Because They Think It’s Awesome And Thrilling To Hang Out With Non-Academics In Any Capacity But Especially A Manly One by Michael Pollan.

It’s been a few weeks, so let me dip my toes back into the blogging world with the best sort of not-safe-for-work cookie disaster from Garrick, who’s also working on a vegan cookie book. You know, I’m just going to post them. If your boss fires you for looking at accidentally vagina-shaped cookies then it’s not the kind of job you want anyways.

They were supposed to be Sweeney Todd cookies, as Garrick explains on the PPK forums.

“They were supposed to look like slit flesh, as in Sweeney Todd, he slits the throats of victims… I didn’t know marzipan would expand in the oven. ”

In other news, Terry and I will be on NPR’s Weekend Edition tomorrow morning at 8:30 in NYC. I’m not sure what time or channel for other cities. And I’ll be posting some exciting news about mineses and Terry’ses upcoming projects.

Okay, toes? Dipped.