Would You Buy Vegan Limericks From This Man?
SonOfSeitan aka Mike Desert aka Mike Sunburn was the clear winner of the limerick contest with such gems as:
There once was a vegan from Tempe
She loved to suck cork quite a plenty
With an Italian one night
Though try as she might
His erection was barely al dente.
And his softer limerickal side:
Our planet is all going to shit
A fact that few people admit
The cows burp and fart
Up pops a Wal*Mart
As I shine an apple off with my spit
But there was a total conflict of interest there because he was a Veganomicon tester. So he’s going to be getting his book early, plus another book later, but I have to pick a second winner. So after a couple of quick IMs with a few accomplished limerickcists I settled on sugarbeettree:
My date likes to fondle the fruit.
My asparagus thinks it?s quite cute.
But when en route
to a steamy en cro?te
beware the covert ginger root.
I’m not sure what it actually means. But I think what we’ve learned from all this is that either vegans suck at limericks or maybe everyone sucks at limericks or maybe limericks just suck.
Thanks everyone for playing! Sugarbeet, send me your address!
The next contest will probably be over the weekend and definitely will not involve rhyming.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
CONGRATULATIONS
We look forward to your food porn pics from your winnings
October 11th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
I laughed, I cried (not really) and thought everyone was awesome.
Congratulations Mike, you made me laugh the hardest!
October 11th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Whhhooooohooooooooo! I’ve never been so proud!
I’m crying and waving to you like a beauty contest winner. It’s just so wonderful: a ‘Nom-nom-nom-icon of my very own!
Cutlet, you shall be mine.
(Now I’ve learned that insomnia + PPK = profit! That’s what the underwear gnomes were missing!)
October 11th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Yay sugarbee!!!! Congrats! You wrote a tricky one with all the line ends rhyming!
October 11th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
It’s POURING here today so I’m going to send them tomorrow!
October 12th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Congrats! Mike Sunburn, I will admit I tried several times to read your second limerick to my husband. He finally got so annoyed with my laughing in the middle of it that he grabbed the computer and read it himself. And laughed. (Not quite as hysterically)
Sugarbeetthree- Brilliant!
October 14th, 2007 at 5:21 am
Can I still enter if I don’t live in America?
October 14th, 2007 at 5:42 am
Oh, I just read the entries for the last one and apparently there are plenty of non-Americans. Never mind!
October 14th, 2007 at 6:39 am
Oh, and Isa, you were in my local paper the other day! They were running a cupcake special in the Food & Wine section, and quoted VCTotW… didn’t even mention veganism. Heh.
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