I'm creeping up on Rachel Ray

I was checking out the popular preorders on Amazon
and of course Rachel Ray is number 1. But look, just a few steps behind
her at number 13, who's that? Oh! It's me! Totally sneaking up
ninja-like. Which means if we had just, oh I don't know, 3000% more
television time we would probably be at some number above number one.
They'd have to invent a new number.

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